Children ...

I am one tired human being.  I feel like I have been around the world and back in a few days. So sleepy.  I should have taken today off of work to rest and unpack, but I didn't. 

My many Christmas' were great. I think they turned out as lovely as can be that is. We had some obstacles, but they were worked through rather well.

Here is an obstacle... and obstacle with myself...

                  For example check out me and my nephew... playing ... happy... heart filled moment...

And then... scared out of mind... fright... ear drum popping ... record breaking screams...

LOOK at my face I have no idea what to do. I laugh so hard everytime I see this photo.

This spells out NOT READY FOR SCREAMING CHILDREN!

So my sister filled me in on a conversation that she was having with my brother. She was asking him if he was sure he didn't want any more kids. His response was, no three is plenty.  My sister was teasing him and reminding how much fun it is to have children and then out of nowhere the oldest of the three says "No, how about we just trade babies"!!!!!  I was rolling in laughter when I heard this.  There is quite an age difference between the two girls and the one year old boy.  The oldest is 10 years older, she is laid back, smart, and likes her space.  Her space has been invaded by a one year old boy who pulls hair, and wants all the attention in the world from HER parents.  I know she loves him to bits, but this I am sure has been a major change in her life.

I love my nieces, nephews, god-child, and all the little nose dripping, sticky handed, screaming children that belong to my family and friends. It has been so much fun watching them grow. When I am done spending a day with them I always reconsider wanting children and not because they are bad but because those cute little bodies are so breakable.  I am concerned that I will damage my child. Ha I will say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I won't have patience every day.  I love spending time with them but being a mother AHHHHHH!!!! Thinking about being a mother really scares me. Would I end up in a loony bin?  Would I love them too much that I would never give them room to grow? I am a firm believer that some people should never have children. Am I one of those?  I have always been told that I will be a great mom.  When I think about children the only thought that drifts through my mind is everything I don't want to be as a mother. 

Soooooo it is a good thing I have chosen the path that I did such as school, jobs, living on my own, paying all my bills, saving money, and found a career?  All the things that are needed to build a safe and secure family foundation. Right? So now in the future if I am ready to make that scary, crazy, life alternating decision..... then I can of course, only if I was married. That would be a completely different subject though wouldn't it?

Tootles!!