WHERE IS THE PEACE?

Why are people these days such loose cannons?
Why do people carry so much anger?

I am taking a college class for work and I am assigned to a group for a project. There is of course one black sheep in each group.  It happens every single time I am in a group, we have a slacker. Well our slacker this time around is really trying my patience.  We will call him Mr. A for Mr. Anger ... or maybe for something else that starts with an A. Just kidding!

So Mr. A has been nothing but a nuisance. He barely shows up for class, when he does he is late. He treats our teacher (one of the best teachers I have ever had) incredibly inappropriate. He expects to be able to hand in his homework late and it be accepted. He is a thug wanna be, well who knows, these days he could very well be one. He argues with everyone in my group. He has not done anything and when he tried, he put us back three classes, because he would not listen to what the teacher and the group was trying to tell him.

So last week we had to redo what he had done. When he showed up to class he expressed his anger in an annoying improper English language with every other word containing the F-bomb. I at this point feel very targeted and nervous. So I do what I do best ignore and keep moving forward. After we finally put a stop to his pointless arguments he took his tantrum to the opposite side of the row.

At the end of class he decided that he would no longer just mumble extremely out of line obscenities and expressed them in a very loud and angry way. He told each and every one of his group’s members to f-off in many ways.  I at one point thought to myself... huh wow I am impressed I have never in so many different ways have been told that I am hated. This went on for quite some time. Most of the time I felt it was directed at me. I simply kept staring straight at my computer and typed away. He then accused one member of doing anything I said to "get with me"! Ugggghhhhhh this really made me mad! So I finally yelped back EXCUSE ME! He actually quieted down. Then the other group members took over and explained to him that everyone has the right to their own opinion, but we are a group so we are going to use the most logical opinion and proceed. They also explained to him that he is taking everything too personally and that we are doing this project to pass a class and that is it.  He finally quieted down after awhile. 

Let's just say I high tailed it out of there. I waited by the doors, trying to get my lovely significant other on the phone, because my classmate just made me feel threatened. Thankfully one of the group members came up to me and walked me to my car. He too agreed on the tension and the anger.

Today I received an email from my teacher expressing concern. She had heard what happened. I replied and told her and she has since then expressed her apologies and said that is unacceptable.

All I can keep thinking is Thank GOD that the majority of people are not Mr. A.  I feel bad for him in a way. He is obviously trying to better himself by going to college. I fear that he will not make it which means he will most likely never change.  This also means he might blame this class and everyone in it for his failure.  Which in return will fuel anger in his many children's lives.

If I could speak my real opinion to him it would be to treat others the way you want to be treated. Treat females the same as a male. Love life and enjoy the life that you are given. Educate yourself, don't take advantage of it, you might lose the opportunity to make something of yourself. If this world is to me the way I have always thought of it to be then he should at the least be kicked out of this class.  Then what? He becomes a lost soul in gang land... Should I be threatened in a class or should the society throw him back on the streets?

Time-outs VS. Spankings

This topic was discussed over the past weekend. This topic has now been added to THE LIST.  The List that should not be discussed in certain settings and the number one setting is while consuming cocktails. My List contains:

Religion
Politics
Women Vs Men
Children's Punishment

Uggghhhhh what a topic it is.  So here we go.... do you believe that children should be punished verbally or physically or maybe even both?

Here is my opinion and please remember that this is my opinion. I think there are steps in punishing children. I will go ahead and answer the question that is going through parent's minds right now. NO, I do not have any children but please remember at one time I was a child so YES my opinion does matter.

Step 1 - Tell the child to stop, look them directly in the eyes and explain to child what is wrong with what they are doing, and most importantly the HARM that can come from what they are doing. (From experience: If you don't explain why I am being punished and what could happen if I continue on this path I will not understand why it is wrong) Do NOT yell from across the room. Stop being lazy get off your tush and do something about the issue.

Step 2 - Clearly identify the punishment if they do it again. Make sure they are listening and say for example: M if you pinch your sister again you will sit in time out for 15 min.  Do you understand me?

Step 3 - Child repeats the wrong doing parent reacts exactly as stated.  If the child does said issue again then back into time-out.  After so many times the child will realize that this punishment will happen again and again until he or she stops doing wrong.

That sounds like to me the right way to handle situations. It is the right way to stay patient with your child. So arguing whether the timeout is more sufficient than a spanking errrrrkkkks me.  Why in the world would a person not try the timeout before the pop on the tush? I get that there is multiple ways to teach your child between right and wrong.  I personally know people that had spankings and are completely fine, and I personally know people that were "spanked" that did not turn out fine. There is a huge difference between a spanking and a beating. I get that but why use violence at all if talking to your child works just as well.  Do not argue with me yes a swat to the butt is touching another human being using fear and motion which is defined as violence. Maybe not getting the crap kicked out of you violence but the fear violence. Depending on how you approach the spanking is how it affects you mentally as an adult.

I also heard one comment this weekend that was personally said, whoopee a timeout was never threatening at all as a child but a pop in the tush taught him a lesson to stop.  Is this a boy thing? I don't get how you can say being pulled from your toys, friends, TV, video game, sitting in a corner facing a wall for what seems like an eternity would be nothing.  I like to think that I am a pretty open person but really I don't get this statement nor do I believe this statement. Which makes me rethink and ask myself am I a close minded person.  Was this person molded out of fear?  Should children be feared into doing right?? What kind of life is that to live?? This person is a fine man. In fact he is a really great person. He turned out wonderfully.

So what does that tell me.....? It tells me absolutely nothing. 
It tells me that everyone has a right to their opinion.
It tells me that everyone parents just a little different.
It tells me that as a responsible adult you should marry someone with a similar belief.

Home Sweet Home

Have you ever wanted something soooooo bad but it seems so far out of reach?

I have it is called a house. Saying the word house gives me butterflies....

I just came to the realization yesterday that me buying my own home (A REAL HOME!!!!) could be a possibility in the near future : ).... FINALLY!

I finally have stability, and my debt is sooo close to being paid off. My credit score is sitting well. I have finally made a plan to save money for a down payment. Everything seems to be working out so well it is scary. Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.

Here are some photos I found on the Internet:

I love the porch on this one.

 I love the castle look and I can only imagine how cute those rooms are in tower part of the house : )

 I love brick houses.... love them!



Obviously these are all way too big and expensive but ideally a brick home with a porch, and cool wow factor and I am sold!

Not too difficult right??? I think when I get to buy a home it will bring such a comfort and secure feeling that it might be in the process of finding my peaceful state of mind. I am starting to feel it now. I could be in this dreamy state daily while sweet thoughts float through my head.

Hack... Hack.... Uh-Choooo... Happy New Year

Being sick for seven days lying on a couch has drained every bit of energy out of me. I mean come on give me a break walking down my stairs in the speed of a snail is taking a little too long. Then when I finally reach my car I have to sit and take short fast breathes while I can hear my heart beat out of my chest! I call this absolutely ridiculous and completely unacceptable! I may not be in great shape but I am begging the energy fairy to return it to me. I want it back and I want it back NOW.

So I spent Tuesday through Monday on a couch.... feeling like Satan was playing a miserable game with my life. It was like he was deciding whether I deserved an hour of not hacking all the mucus in the world or was losing my voice for two days enough torture??? Oh yes that is right. I lost my voice in the midst of my New Year's Eve. Yes I know I just said I spent numerous days on a couch but on New Year's Eve I decided that the sickness did not have a hold on me completely. So I spent the evening at my sister's place. She had family and friends over. Mucho fun. I took as much medicine as I could plus a five hour energy drink begging Satan to give me one evening of my vacation to celebrate a New Year... and Satan decided he would tease me... he gave me a few hours then poof my voice was gone! Uggghhhhhh! Now my family and friends will tell you I am definitely not one to be incapable of speaking.

How frustrating, but in the end I lived through it and I am back to work. I went to the doc yesterday she gave me medicine and miraculously I feel already ten times better. Except for this nasty cough that I have. Should have I gone to her sooner? I know that is what you are thinking, but I am me and I guess that is what happens when I am a stubborn jerk that thinks I can beat out this cold that really wasn't a cold and turned into a sinus infection.

Happy New Year!!!!