Children ...

I am one tired human being.  I feel like I have been around the world and back in a few days. So sleepy.  I should have taken today off of work to rest and unpack, but I didn't. 

My many Christmas' were great. I think they turned out as lovely as can be that is. We had some obstacles, but they were worked through rather well.

Here is an obstacle... and obstacle with myself...

                  For example check out me and my nephew... playing ... happy... heart filled moment...

And then... scared out of mind... fright... ear drum popping ... record breaking screams...

LOOK at my face I have no idea what to do. I laugh so hard everytime I see this photo.

This spells out NOT READY FOR SCREAMING CHILDREN!

So my sister filled me in on a conversation that she was having with my brother. She was asking him if he was sure he didn't want any more kids. His response was, no three is plenty.  My sister was teasing him and reminding how much fun it is to have children and then out of nowhere the oldest of the three says "No, how about we just trade babies"!!!!!  I was rolling in laughter when I heard this.  There is quite an age difference between the two girls and the one year old boy.  The oldest is 10 years older, she is laid back, smart, and likes her space.  Her space has been invaded by a one year old boy who pulls hair, and wants all the attention in the world from HER parents.  I know she loves him to bits, but this I am sure has been a major change in her life.

I love my nieces, nephews, god-child, and all the little nose dripping, sticky handed, screaming children that belong to my family and friends. It has been so much fun watching them grow. When I am done spending a day with them I always reconsider wanting children and not because they are bad but because those cute little bodies are so breakable.  I am concerned that I will damage my child. Ha I will say the wrong thing at the wrong time. I won't have patience every day.  I love spending time with them but being a mother AHHHHHH!!!! Thinking about being a mother really scares me. Would I end up in a loony bin?  Would I love them too much that I would never give them room to grow? I am a firm believer that some people should never have children. Am I one of those?  I have always been told that I will be a great mom.  When I think about children the only thought that drifts through my mind is everything I don't want to be as a mother. 

Soooooo it is a good thing I have chosen the path that I did such as school, jobs, living on my own, paying all my bills, saving money, and found a career?  All the things that are needed to build a safe and secure family foundation. Right? So now in the future if I am ready to make that scary, crazy, life alternating decision..... then I can of course, only if I was married. That would be a completely different subject though wouldn't it?

Tootles!!

Have a Very Merry Christmas!

It is the last day of work before I am off to a crazy three day Christmas adventure!  I will be driving with my significant other into Kansas tomorrow morning. Saturday morning another three hour drive back into Nebraska. After lunch on this glorious Christmas Day we will be on our way and also adding another three hour drive back to my hometown where we will thankfully reside ..... until the next morning.  Sunday we have our final and fourth Christmas. 

I love the holidays, but it sure drains me.  It is the only time of the year that I get to see all the people that have played a role in my life.  These people shaped me to be who I am today.  I hope they are all very happy with their results! *snicker* *snicker*

I have quite a huge family.  On my dad's side their are 14 grandchildren.... and many many many great-grands. Every Christmas my grandmother hangs a stocking for each and everyone of us. That includes her children, the husband and wives, and even the girlfriends and boyfriends.  I think the count is at 46 stockings!!! All hung down a staircase. My grandmother is hands down an amazing individual of course my mother is too.  Look at that I just felt guilty for saying that and had to make sure I put my mom in there too.  They are both wonderful women and have taught me so much in life. My mom's side has 15 grandchildren, but we do not get together as we do on my dads. 

So anyways I think you can get the point. I am a busy girl with lots of family, and I love each of them very much. As I am sure you all do as well.  I will be back next week and I am sure I will have some very interesting stories! I want to wish everyone a very very MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The BOOM BOOM Man!

So I was getting ready this morning listening to music and I could hear someone pounding on my door.  So I walked into my kitchen and turned off my radio and just stood there for a min……… do duh do……do duh do...... then I hear a BOOM BOOM BOOM…. and I thought jeez is that necessary!!!! Knock my door down why don’t you.  So I planned on not answering and started to walk back to my bathroom. Mostly because I was not dressed the part to answer a door to a door banging stranger and secondly because he was about to BREAK MY DOOR DOWN.  So I started to walk away and then heard the beating on my door again so I walked up to my door and yelled "what" and “who are you” and he screamed “SECURITY”, and I yelled “I am not opening this door, I am trying to get ready and not dressed appropriate.” He started to yell and then slowly became calmer and said “YOU are not allowed to play your music that loud during the day”…… this is where I wanted to giggle. Did he really just say that? I almost said “Oh so I can play it that loud at night?” He seemed to be a very intelligent security parking lot roamer.  Then he yelled slightly quieter, "this is two days in a row that I have gotten a complaint on you." So I yelled “Ok….. Super sorry I really had no idea I was bothering anyone I will be more careful.” 

I think his banging probably disturbed my whole apartment building.  Are you seriously treating me like a criminal for having my music too loud?  I get that it is a disturbance and I can promise I won't turn it that loud again, but to act with such rage???  I honestly had no idea it was being heard by neighbors. It is not midnight, it is not three in the morning, it is 8:45 in the morning. Four more months and this lease is up....... ahhhhh I think moving out of this building will give me a calmer life and maybe it might just help me find my Zen.

Have you ever had to deal security at a place where you were renting?  Even if you were properly dressed would you have answered the door? 

Good Morning Sunshine....

I woke up this brisk morning and realized that today I was supposed to be at work promptly an hour early because of a College Class I am taking during work hours.  So I am rushing to get ready as quickly as my body can move.  

Usually on days like this I slip in the shower, I get soap in my eyes, I can't find the pants I was planning on wearing, and the shirt that I finally decided on (in my thoughts while rushing to take a shower) doesn't seem to look as glamorous as my positive little dome thought it up to be. My makeup hates my face and puts up a battle for some unknown reason.  My hair decides to stick up every other direction but the right and normal direction.  On the way down to my car (down three flights of stairs) I realize that I forgot my lunch and my badge to get in the building!!!!

None of these things happened! Well..... I forgot my badge and had to run back up the darn stairs, but hey I will take that any day.

Today was nice, this morning was beautiful. : )

Ohhhh Zen.... where are you???

Zen.... what is Zen?

Is it peacefulness?
Is it finding beauty in rather dull objects?
Is it calmness? 
- I have no calmness in my life.
   - If I did have calmness, would I even know how to enjoy it?

Objective:

Finding a peaceful place.

Learning how to be calm.

Seeing good in bad.

Lose the negativity.

Be happy with what I have and learn to let go

of the bad that has happened to me.

Shouldn't be too hard!!! : )

Hello people!
I am M.  This is my first blog.  Feel free to comment anytime.  My goal for this blog is to find ..... well it is to find my ZEN! I have always been told that I am a girl that needs to stay busy or I will not be happy.  I am willing to change that.  I feel that I maybe missing too much in the world.  I have blinds up and I only see whats going on in front of me. I miss the beautiful flower that is blooming, because all I see is the task that is at hand.  What do you think about people finding their Zen?